A Little Note From Me: A very good friend of my sisters send her this and she posted it in our crew’s watsapp group chat. It was so timely. It was what I needed to hear. I hope it encourages you as it did me. In the last few weeks I have had to come to terms with that fact that a certain guy I liked/attracted too is just not my portion no matter what comfort, support or intimacy I think I needed, something wasn’t right. I was chasing Mr Right Now instead of waiting for God’s right timing. (Gosh timing and suitability not just wanting to feel good is important) I always have to remember that even though you can feel unseen it is okay because God sees you and better you fully embrace one season before you are in the winds of the next. Enjoy the post below and thank you Zara for sending this. Bless you.x
I’m writing as a married woman of 5 years + with (almost) 2 children under the age of 18 months. I’m blessed with a home, husband, children & career and I’m under 30! But I’m not here to gloat or to tell you that you should want what I have. No! I’m here to share with you my experience of singleness; a wonderfully fulfilling time in my life. A time without great responsibility, restrictions and without nappies! A get-up-and-go time, a time when it could be God and I any time! A time when I travelled America, lived with friends, studied, volunteered, socialised, worked to build the Kingdom. A time when guys were attracted to me and respectfully expressed this. (I’m smiling at this- just being real!)
Singleness wasn’t a depressing time but a liberating one. Now ladies, don’t misunderstand me: my husband is the love of my life, I wouldn’t replace my children for anything at all and I enjoy and appreciate our lovely home. But can I keep it real with you? If I truly knew the fullness of the blessing of being single and I could do it all again, I would travel more, network more, buy more expensive garments, treat myself more, socialise even more, save more, do more work for God, spend more time in fellowship with Him, take up Theology, start a business…. The opportunities as a single woman are truly endless.
So what is my point? I want to encourage you to enjoy this time because I would have valued the same advice. Don’t wish it or pray it or cry it away. Enjoy this season until it changes. And then you can fully embrace and enjoy the next season and the next.
I’m being honest ladies- having been both single and married: a husband will not complete you- only God can do that.
Seeing this poster (above) hit me like a lot. Check out Corey Copeland tumblr here. He is a great writer and super honest and open. Quite refreshing.
I have been told that at times I speak in generalisations. Especially on the topic of men. So instead of being like ‘errr where are all the men of God at?’…lol yes I have caught myself saying something along those lines before. *shakes head at my self* I want to challenge myself to speak some life and encouragement. It is hard out there. We hear more negative comments and opinions than positive ones. I want to love on purpose. I am a Christian right! I am trying to adopt a more loving nature to men hey to all people. To encourage men to be all that God has called them to be without being rude/condescending or impatient with their shortcomings. I have shortcomings, we all do. I gotta learn how to show mercy to the brothers out there.
Finish this sentence
All/most men are…..
All/most women are….
It may help you identify some of the lies we believe about the opposite sex and how this leaks into our interactions with them. I have a few positives but to be honest a lot more negatives because of my experiences. We are all marked by our own personal experiences but it is not the whole truth.
Also these negative thoughts can attract such things into our life as we expect the worse and therefore receive the worse.
The truth is we all flawed. Mercy and kindness are free gifts. We are encouraged to be our brothers keeper and to edify each other.
So some practicals
1. Put on kindness: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.- Colossians 3:12
We have to clothe ourselves and actually put on kindness. No one wants to be around a negative, rude, bitter sister. So in order to shine in showing Jesus to all around us we can show fourth His characteristics. Everyday. No matter if the timing is good for us or not. That is what Jesus would do and it is going to be hard but ask for help to be kind. Your effort is much needed in this step. We are given opportunities to walk in kindness not just a ton of kindness beans fall in our laps.
2. Don’t be the first to side eye: show mercy in order to receive mercy. Everyone has weaknesses and shortcomings so sweeping everyone especially a gender with the same broom is just NOT the way to live. Trust me. I would cuss out guys quick time and tell them about themselves thinking oh they handle it because they are men. Not true if anything the opposite effect happens and you get branded.
Blessed are the merciful for they will receive mercy. It is not a cop out of saying turn a blind eye to wrong behaviour but leading on to the next point it is to watch in what way we are judging a persons actions.
‘There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.’- James 2:13
3. Bring correction in Love and after some prayer. Correction is good and we all need it but lack of love and relationship can make correction just a tearing down process.
‘Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.’- Romans 14:19
4. Men and women are not the same but are human. Sounds silly but in light of this beware of raging an outright war on a gender that you have to live, interact with and plan to marry into. We are human. There is NO such thing as the perfect Man. Jesus is the ONLY perfect Man. Putting pressure on anyone to be perfect is setting oneself up for a big fall.
‘for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God’- Romans 3:23
5. Re write the lies. If you think all men are……liars. Write it out. Then say how you feel. Ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you the root of that lie. Then follow what He says next. He may say ask you to remove certain relationships from your life for this season. He may ask that you repent of the lie and receive healing. Whatever it is be open to do it.
I hope this blesses you and just an FYI I am in the process of doing this it is hard but today at work a guy came in and I started clapping for him (as he has been off and been on crutches) but now was walking on his own. We spoke about his healing process and he added at the end of the conversation that ‘it is so nice to walk in to a round of applause as that doesn’t happen when I go upstairs’.
Everyone can do with some encouragement, words that affirm and edify. No matter the age, race or gender.
Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.